Last night, I felt tired. Tired not as in Sleepy but tired of everything. Den i had this craziness thought which I know i shouldn't even think about. To just give up everything.. maybe i should just be normal.. Why do i have to make things so difficult for myself? Fuck the dreams..i dont wanna care about it anymore.. it's tiring trying to hold on. It really is. I dont wanna do this anymore. Some people might be thinking "Oh! what's so difficult about it? She is just creating a drama AGAIN" Cuz you know what? You dont know the importance of it.

SO! After all the funny thoughts, I decided to go to bed. But well, I couldn't sleep.. I dig around for books to read.. Comics (蠟筆小新)..but i flip a few pages and put it back..it wasn't interesting to me. A few books.. "Secrets of Power Persuasion" and "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Same thing..i flip through.. i just couldn't concentrate on anything. I just did not have the interest to read anything and i put it back and there.. sat a bible. Dont laugh at me but since i already flip through a few books, why not flip this as well.. it doesnt hurt to flip it anyways. And guess what. On the very last page of the bible... "When plans are broken; God often has to allow our plans to be broken so that we, with him, can build bigger and better ones" I guess i wrote it down myself a few years back... I was surprised to see this actually..very surprised. but anyways, i went on to dreamland.

Woke up feeling as horrible as before..i basically rot my whole afternoon away.. maybe not..i was watching Ghost Whisperer DVD. Nice Show and Nice Actress..Jennifer Love Hewitt. I went on to KKBOX to listen to some clip..and by chance.. I heard this..to show how freaky everything is..i've decided to type it out..

For each of us, our progress usually depend on our power to dream and secondly, our faith that the dreams will come true. Dream is actually faith taking its first step but one that must be taken if we gonna progress. Greatest power in the entire world is the power of a creative idea. All success begins with a dream; someone said “There are no great men, only men with great ideas” and than we begin to see those ideas and those dreams turn into desire. If you want your dreams badly enough, you will plan and organize and re-organize and work until you get what you desire. And you will risk! Risking is a necessity if you want to see your dreams come true. Faith is making your decision without guaranteed success but faith without risk is a contradiction. Every time you make a choice, you take a chance and every indecision is within itself a decision. The absence of fear does not prove of courage, the play-it-safe people may not be afraid but it doesn't mean that they are brave. This priceless gift of courage can only acquired when u succeed being expose to possible failure. If your dreams are to come true, it is because you risked and than you have to begin, it's not enough to dream, you gonna act on it. "Beginning is Half Done" The most difficult thing of all however, is to wait for the dream to come true.“Endurance” Men who really succeed are men who really know that in every project that will be phrases where there's nothing to do but wait. When you expect success and you hold nothing back and you spend your last dime and gamble your reputation, confident that you will make it; you can expect to be successful. Many people never rise above their negative expectations; never become the person that they are capable of becoming, that is when their dreams begin to die. The higher achieving people continue to draw their confidence in themselves and believe in successful outcome. It's the prophecy of what can and will happen when you keep on dreaming.

Oh So Freaky... it's not freaky to others..but it is to me. Den few hours back.. i was still not really feeling that great..was bored also...switching channels here and there...and i decided to switch to this particular channel and there there.. this message came out...just like that.

加油吧! 失望與挫折只是人生中的一段插曲 不要沮喪 努力走過它 生命仍是無限寬廣
"Work Hard. Disappointment and setbacks are part of life. Dont be disheartened. Work hard to pull through it. Life consists of vast opportunities."

Freak out totally... X_X

It's all too freaky to me...maybe i am just being sensitive.. but everytime i have the slightest thought of giving up... someone or something will remind me not to. The previous time was... i was thinking of it again..den on the radio this message just came out so on time..cant rem the message but it's something like do not give up ur dreams..fight for it..or something like that...ALOT of times already. until..i am getting afraid. So now ..i still feel freaky.

those miserable days
1:33 AM