got my results today.... well..at least i pass all my modules...shan't talk abt the grades.... feeling rather fed up actually... yaya..i know i needa find a full time job and YES i am applying for jobs... but my dad keeps coming into my room asking me to apply for this and apply for that these few days... and YES!! i do know that cash is running very low now... but i'm not the only one in the family... my sister and bro both are working..and all day long my parents are telling me they are running low on cash..YES I KNOW!!!!! i kinda feel pressurized... and the woman who is earning the most in the family wanted to borrow $100 from me..hell! where to find $100? i dont knoe why am i complaining...but i juz wanna complain! ArGh! i cant stand the thought of earning money and bring it back home and those 2 are aint contribbuting to the family will get a share of it. it isn't wrong for my parents to get a share of my pay but those 2 who gonna earn much more den me? sometimes ar...just sometimes...i wanna pack and leave. Peacefulness... i am very very bothered now. it's like being squeezed between walls... and running low on oxygen and space. sometimes ar..also juz soemtimes ar...feel like crying.. "please dont keep pressurizing me already"..words that i wanna say to them. yes i do know wat's happening..but certain things gonna be given time. sometimes jus feel so alone cuz ya..surely there's people who gonna be there or listen to me. but i rather my family share the burden den keep asking me to find job..and again YES I AM LOOKING FOR A JOB ALREADY!!! but so is my brother or sister not earning or are they disable? and now i'm thinking...yes..i got healthy bro and sis..both have a decent job.. but hell..why am i gonna be the one supporting the whole family...ya la..only can complain here.... out of here..i'm back to working hard and meanwhile, finding a job.


unfair to me....... cuz of certain things that happened and actions they have taken...i am now the one who gonna bear the consequences now...well..hell get a life regina! stop complaining! urh...hate it when i complain. makes me sound so stupid and childish... cuz complain doesnt solve a prob and normally i prefer to solve the problem den complain but this time...aRgH! but no matter what happens..i wont wanna be deprive of my music! BuahaHA! i wont drop the mic! supposingly..that's the only thing that i like now :P

those miserable days
2:42 AM